10/7/10What I was hoping would be a final update… is the beginning of ACT II
After two long days at MDA I’m emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted. I have been poked and prodded, with blood drawn, IV’s in my arm, my chest and head x-rayed and scanned, and my neck biopsied. What more could a girl ask for on her first date with the world’s greatest medical center!
I laugh because who wants to cry and I tell the story like this because it’s good and a great reminder of just how real and close our GOD is in this world, and that He still speaks to us individually and so very personally. (And why wouldn’t he… He knit me together in my mother’s womb)
When I found out I was going to have to go to MDA because my recent body scan didn’t show the results my doctor was hoping for I specifically recall telling people that I don’t need prayer for healing, and then I felt bad about this crazy request. My thought was… If you want to pray for me then pray what I’m asking for and that is “Just pray the Lord would reveal this new purpose and plan for my life and through this I would give Him the glory”
I believe the Lord gives you answers long before you ask the question “why?” And as the journey continues the question is then revealed. (This is just how it works for me; it could be very different for you.)
A few weeks ago I hear in my head a whisper of a voice “I healed you the day you gave your life to me” “what you’re going through now is just part of your journey with me”
Now I know why the Lord placed on my heart not to ask for healing… because it has been done, the healing happened 9 years ago and there was much rejoicing in Heaven at that time.
I then remembered a few scriptures that I read that really jumped off the page months ago… Acts 14: 22 (HCSB) "It is necessary to pass through many troubles on our way into the kingdom of God."
James 1: 12 (the Message version I love) 12 Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
2 Cor. 1:3 … and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
Again God giving me HIS WORD with such perfect timing!
My first stop was the blood farm: (ha, just kidding)
Jackie took my blood and we talked about gardening and how she wished on a day like today she was working in her yard… I told her that right here in this chair with her kindness and good hands she was tilling the soil and harvesting plenty. She said “God bless you on your journey”
Elsie put the IV in and asked “where do you work” (as I almost fainted) I told her and she told me “I love to hear Dr. Young as I’m getting ready to go to my church on Sunday mornings”
Ansi held and stroked my hand as Dr. Wong pierced my neck with a needle for the biopsy and GOD made sure he got just enough cells so that 20 minutes later I wouldn’t have to endure that pain again.
Throughout yesterday and today I could see the damage done by cancer – it didn’t matter what type it was – it just was. You could tell the ones who knew their “higher power” they were the ones that radiated through lost hair and face masks.
In others I could hear anger and see death – God is still there and waiting on them you just know it! It was a long day but a good day.
My second date with MDA was spent talking with PA’s and the Doctors. Each one had a very real connection with me – God is so good at hand picking his hands and feet people. It can be a very overwhelming experiencing just knowing how close the Lord is with you in this process. How he never leaves your side… which brings me to Joshua 1:9 Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
With truth this bold and intentional; how is it we so easily forget?
Good news: each Dr. and PA, discussed in detail with us that there is still cancer, but that it's confined and explained why the RAI treatment was not a success. Cancer can be finicky. Thankfully the spots are big enough to be removed, which is good. The doctors will meet next Thursday to discuss options; Dr. Grubbs says surgery being the best option. No more Radioactive treatment for me – because it didn’t work!
I am thankful that the type of cancer I have is slow growing and very treatable. And now for the bad news.
Bad news: There were a couple of other things the scans revealed – spots on my lungs and a decent sized spot on my breast. They are not as concerned at these spots at the moment as they are with the papillary carcinoma. Sadly I am.
With all that said, they have to go over a few more scans/slides to determine the bad news portion, I will also have a mammogram scheduled in the next few weeks and have this scope procedure done to check out my vocal cords (apparently they are as fine as Angel Hair pasta) to see if there is or was any damage from the previous surgery.
I asked about a vocal cord transplant, something that would help me with my singing, you know just in case… we all laughed out loud.
How do you thank God for a hardship when it brings lots of sadness? You remind yourself of James 1:12 Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life. This makes me cry because I was such a mess and to know that I am loyally in love with God that my reward is more life is just to much to comprehend.
Thank you for letting me share this part of my journey with you and I want to thank each of you for your prayers and concern and I am asking God to bless each of you just as He has blessed me.
